heart, head.

And on Sunday night, as I played the uke, and sang the simple, profound truth that You are good, You are faithful, my heart settled.

There was something in the music which reached Your truth into my heart, Lord. Or maybe it was the proclaiming, the speaking Truth out so that my ears could hear. And then, so that my mind and heart could submit, agree and settle.

Yesterday, I was reading John Piper's sharing from Proverbs 3:5-6.

So often quoted to me. But so often, in the last 14 years, lost on me.


What reminders I have needed, to:

• "Make [my] life a moment by moment in trusting in a good, holy, kind, loving, all-providing, all-satisfying God."

• "...say to [my]self: Self, you are inadequate. Brain, you can’t come up with enough wisdom on your own. [I] have to turn away from self-reliance. Of course, that doesn’t mean that [I] don’t think and [I] don’t plan. It just means that [I] don’t bank on it. “The horse is made ready for the day of battle, but the victory belongs to the Lord” (Proverbs 21:31). So, even in the midst of our planning and thinking and using our minds, we are leaning on something else. We are not leaning on our own resources."

• "So, at every turn, every new choice [I] have to make, every new conversation [I am] in, [I am] sending up a message: God, I acknowledge you here. I know you here. I am drawing you in here. You are decisive here. I need you here."

Source: http://www.desiringgod.org/interviews/three-steps-to-stop-wasting-your-life

Let this be my life's refrain

Take my life, and let it be
Consecrated, Lord, to Thee;
Take my moments and my days,
Let them flow in ceaseless praise,
Let them flow in ceaseless praise.


Again and again, I have needed to remember that when I surrender and submit my hopes and plans to my Lord and God, I do so to the One who loves me covenantally. I do so to the One who did not spare His best, who gave of Himself.

That when the LORD God calls me to trust in Him, I am to feel secure in who He is, to take refuge (again and again) in Him.

"It's the most wonderful time of the year."

This morning, as I stood at the bus stop, waiting for the bus to work, I realised I was excited. I could feel the coolness of the morning, a familiar indicator of the end of the year in our clime - sometimes accompanied by lengthy, heavy rain. And there had been a line from an old song running in my head the last 2 days, "It's the most wonderful time of the year." 

I had thought about cookies, about making gifts for people as part of my farewell to them when this year closes. 

But I needed to remind myself, Christmas is more than that.

(The following is an excerpt from the November/ December 2016 edition of Barnabas Aid.)

Christmas is God coming to sinful humankind to establish with us a covenant of peace, enabling us to have a right relationship with Him. God's peace transmitted through a Messiah, the Prince of Peace, whose authority will grow continually until there is endless peace and His Kingdom is established with justice and righteousness.

Not only has this Prince of Peace brought salvation, healing and wholeness, but also He has brought victory over Satan and all the evils of this dark and sinful world. Because of this we can live in the peace of God, knowing that by it we are not only saved from sin and made whole in our being, but also will triumph over Satan. So, whether the outward events of our lives are peaceful or rough, our souls continue to rest in the wellbeing of shalom. 

City

Of crowded trains,
And points of focus,
Of scents and screens,
And shared spaces.
The mornings (moanings?)
of a city-dweller.

Knowledge

"Without knowledge of self there is no knowledge of God...
       Without knowledge of God there is no knowledge of self." 
- John Calvin, Institutes of the Christian Religion

Such eyes!

On the bus from lunch, there was a little girl who looked like she had had a cleft lip operation before.
I looked at her, she looked at me, and I wondered how to react - I knew my hair was messy, did I look funny?
But I smiled an older-person-crinkly-smile at her and she turned her attention back to her family.
Later, when she was about to alight from the bus, she turned and looked at me expectantly. Such eyes!
So I smiled an older-person-crinkly-smile at her, said bye to her and got a smile back.

Now I lay me down...

I’m starting to understand and feel that rest is a way to worship God. In recognising that He is infinite, and I am finite, that He is God and limitless and I want to, I need to surrender my cares to Him. That I need Him, I worship Him. So now I lay me down to sleep (nap).

Cleaving

Deuteronomy 10:20 
You shall fear the Lord your God. You shall serve him and hold fast (cling, hold tightly to Him, be united with Him) to him, and by his name you shall swear.

"this reminds me of a story"

So I'm sitting here in the office, working on tomorrow's work, and I'm hearing bits of the conversation my colleague is having with a pre-teen and I have to smile.


It's so sweet that the pre-teen feels comfortable enough with my colleague to share with her - what she wants to wear to this weekend's service, how she is being told to wear this and that by her mother, and her questions. Prattling. This child is comfortable enough to prattle and be herself with my colleague.
I hope that I will be such an adult, that younger ones would feel they can be themselves in my presence.

傻傻分不清楚

One of the worst flubs/ bungles a student could make - to mix up the files of her assignment and delete (permanently!) the one which she needs to submit.

I will choose to laugh at myself and learn.

The man Job and God's heart

Matthew 6:13
And don’t let us yield to temptation,
    but rescue us from the evil one.

Thinking on the Lord's prayer, and in particular verse 13, I thought about Job and how we often think of Job being a righteous man and yet, God tested him.

I only hope that when I am tested, I will not argue the case of my righteousness before God and question why I am in the situation that I am in. 

But I want to (O help me, Lord!) remember  that I have a Saviour, Whose blood I have been bought by, from sin and death, into redemption and life. And that under Whose shadows, behind His Cross, I will want to hide. 

O Lord, I pray that when I am tested, I will not question, why me, or why has my (attempt at) righteousness resulted in this. But instead Lord, help me to pray that You would defend me, that You would hear my cry and have mercy on me, that You would help me to have steadfast faith in Your righteousness and sovereignty.

Take me deeper into the depths of Your unchanging nature, O Lord.

Happily allowing age to catch up

I remember, just perhaps 2 or 3 years ago, when a leader in the music ministry mentioned how we really should bring hymns back into our services, I rose the skeptical eyebrow in my heart.

But today, when I thought again on the words of This Is My Father's World, I was struck by the sure words to its gently-melodious tune -

"This is my Father's world
O let me ne'er forget
that though the wrong seems oft so strong,
God is the Ruler yet"

We were away for almost 2 weeks in a foreign country. But it all seemed familiar. Much credit would be given to our able translators, and of course, the amazing hospitality, love and welcome we received.

But it was also the Anglican traditions of worship which I was greatly struck by.
To sing the doxology together and praise God from Whom all blessings flow. To pray the words of the confession and share in the communion of Christ.

And then also, to pray as the Spirit led us to minister to brothers and sisters in Christ.

What was further impressed on me was the truth before me, before my eyes, surrounding me - that we are one body, because we share in the one bread (1 Cor 10:17).

And so I am happily allowing age to catch up with me, and to begin to learn to appreciate the traditions which seek to capture Truth, and enable us to worship and love God with all my heart, all my soul, all my mind (Matthew 22:37).

You are..

the God who sees,
who sees me. (Genesis 16:13)

Dear God, please help me to...

I've never been very good at waiting. I don't think it is really impatience, but anxiety at the unknown.
But Lord, I pray that You will help me to wait on You, to be looking to You, and wait with You.

Edit-addition: "I've never seen someone so happy in the midst of uncertainty." Hmmm... something to consider eh?
The uncertainty will still continue to be there, but may I not be ruled or overwhelmed by it!

"full of life"

"full of life" - without thinking too much, I'd have been more inclined to use this on someone younger, a child - full of life, energy, joy, running around, playing, playful.

today, a song made me re-think that. can not an older person be full of life?

full of the life that God has brought him/ her through - the stories, of how God has been there with him/ her in the valleys and on the mountains. full of the knowing that God has given him/ her life.

"full of life" - as a vessel God has created, in the form and for the function He has deemed best, to hold the life He pours out.

"...wisdom loves Him"

"Knowledge learns of God; wisdom loves Him." 
(Last line from 'What is wisdom? What is the difference between wisdom and knowledge?', Got Questions? Org. http://www.gotquestions.org/wisdom-knowledge.html) 


Dear God, 
You are a life-giving God. 

I see this in the marvellous-ness in the development of a child. I am awakened to this in the wonder of nature's beauty. 

Do these lead me to worship of You? Do these lead me to say You are like no one else? 

Sometimes, it does not. But in a space of time like this Wednesday morning, more importantly, in a space of time like this Wednesday morning when I turn my eyes, turn my mind, turn my spirit, to Your word - just as X Your child and Your creation, not daughter, not worker, not friend - I am reminded of the Treasure that You are. 

How do I begin? Where do I begin?

That You are like no other. 

Sure, You are worthy of worship. 

But even before I come to that, I have to deal with allllllll that You have done for me. There is no one else like You Lord, who has loved and pursued me so that You could give me the best gift of all - the gift of belonging to You, of being redeemed by You. 


Philippians 4:8
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

"there is no one like You"

I love You Lord.
I don't think I love You the way You deserve, nor in the depths and the breadths of what You deserve.

But I love being with You. I love being with You because You give me life, because You soothe my pains, because You know and understand me.
There is no one like You.

I enjoy being with You. I like singing to You, singing with You. I like recognising where You have been in other people's lives.
There is no one like You Lord.

Question: "What does it mean to have the fear of God?"

Taken from Got Questions? (http://www.gotquestions.org/fear-God.html)

Question: "What does it mean to have the fear of God?"

Answer: For the unbeliever, the fear of God is the fear of the judgment of God and eternal death, which is eternal separation from God (Luke 12:5; Hebrews 10:31). For the believer, the fear of God is something much different. The believer's fear is reverence of God. Hebrews 12:28-29 is a good description of this: “Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe, for our ’God is a consuming fire.’” This reverence and awe is exactly what the fear of God means for Christians. This is the motivating factor for us to surrender to the Creator of the Universe.

Proverbs 1:7 declares, “The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge.” Until we understand who God is and develop a reverential fear of Him, we cannot have true wisdom. True wisdom comes only from understanding who God is and that He is holy, just, and righteous. Deuteronomy 10:12, 20-21 records, “And now, O Israel, what does the LORD your God ask of you but to fear the LORD your God, to walk in all his ways, to love him, to serve the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul. Fear the LORD your God and serve him. Hold fast to him and take your oaths in his name. He is your praise; he is your God, who performed for you those great and awesome wonders you saw with your own eyes.” The fear of God is the basis for our walking in His ways, serving Him, and, yes, loving Him.

Some redefine the fear of God for believers to “respecting” Him. While respect is definitely included in the concept of fearing God, there is more to it than that. A biblical fear of God, for the believer, includes understanding how much God hates sin and fearing His judgment on sin—even in the life of a believer. Hebrews 12:5-11 describes God’s discipline of the believer. While it is done in love (Hebrews 12:6), it is still a fearful thing. As children, the fear of discipline from our parents no doubt prevented some evil actions. The same should be true in our relationship with God. We should fear His discipline, and therefore seek to live our lives in such a way that pleases Him.

Believers are not to be scared of God. We have no reason to be scared of Him. We have His promise that nothing can separate us from His love (Romans 8:38-39). We have His promise that He will never leave us or forsake us (Hebrews 13:5). Fearing God means having such a reverence for Him that it has a great impact on the way we live our lives. The fear of God is respecting Him, obeying Him, submitting to His discipline, and worshipping Him in awe.

Recommended Resources: Knowing God by J.I. Packer and Logos Bible Software.

sojourner

I cannot take you
         where I have never been before.

coming to life, again

(Ezekiel 37:11 - 14) Then He said to me, "Son of man, these bones represent the people of Israel. They are saying, 'We have become old, dry bones - all hope is gone. Our nation is finished.' Therefore, prophesy to them and say, 'This is what the Sovereign LORD says: O My people, I will open your graves of exile and cause you to rise again. Then I will bring you back to the land of Israel. When this happens, O My people, you will know that I am the LORD. I will put My Spirit in you, and you will live again and return home to your own land. Then you will know that I, the LORD, have spoken, and I have done what I said. Yes, the LORD has spoken!"

He will put His Spirit in me, and I will live again...

Such words I cling onto, they speak of God's heart to me - His abundant grace, of which I have allowance to because Christ died for my sins and grafted me into God's Kingdom. 

Your words I hold onto, they soothe me, revive me, reminding me it is true that You are life-Giver, You are my Refuge, You are consistent, unchanging, You are sovereign, You are good, You are good to me.

"Let the ruins come to life
In the beauty of Your name
Rising up from the ashes
God forever You reign
And my soul will find refuge
In the shadow of Your wings
I will love You forever
And forever I'll sing" - Glorious Ruins (Hillsong Worship)

(Psalm 91:4) He will cover you with His feathers. He will shelter you with His wings. His faithful promises are your armour and protection. 


Faithful. You are faithful.

8