Thursday, October 19, 2017

co-dependency

so if co-dependency is about one taking care of another to avoid looking into one's own pain, might workaholism be a symptom of it?

That is, one throwing oneself into work, taking care of work, so that one not only avoids looking at his/ her pain, but also depends on work to meet their "emotional and self-esteem needs".
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Taken from https://psychcentral.com/lib/symptoms-of-codependency/

Codependency is characterized by a person belonging to a dysfunctional, one-sided relationship where one person relies on the other for meeting nearly all of their emotional and self-esteem needs. It also describes a relationship that enables another person to maintain their irresponsible, addictive, or underachieving behavior. 

...
Caretaking.
Another effect of poor boundaries is that if someone else has a problem, you want to help them to the point that you give up yourself. It’s natural to feel empathy and sympathy for someone, but codependents start putting other people ahead of themselves. In fact, they need to help and might feel rejected if another person doesn’t want help. Moreover, they keep trying to help and fix the other person, even when that person clearly isn’t taking their advice.
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Control.
Control helps codependents feel safe and secure. Everyone needs some control over events in their life. You wouldn’t want to live in constant uncertainty and chaos, but for codependents, control limits their ability to take risks and share their feelings. Sometimes they have an addiction that either helps them loosen up, like alcoholism, or helps them hold their feelings down, like workaholism, so that they don’t feel out of control.Codependents also need to control those close to them, because they need other people to behave in a certain way to feel okay. In fact, people-pleasing and care-taking can be used to control and manipulate people. Alternatively, codependents are bossy and tell you what you should or shouldn’t do. This is a violation of someone else’s boundary.

Wednesday, October 11, 2017

You the Maker of Heaven

You the Maker of Heaven,
the One who set the moon and stars in place (Psalm 8:3),
the One Whose craftsmanship of the skies is displayed day after day (Psalm 19:1),

my life is in Your hands.


"I lean not on my own understanding
My life is in the hands
Of the Maker of Heaven

I give it all to You, God
Trusting that You'll make
Something beautiful out of me"

- Nothing I Hold On to / Climb
(Will Reagan and Brandon Hampton)

Saturday, October 7, 2017

of farming and Proverbs 20:4

http://www.middletownbiblechurch.org/biblecus/biblec6.htm