One thing at a time

Lately, this seems to be the lesson that God is trying to teach us.

There have been so many different situations and decisions we have experienced in just 3 months. My default mode, through my upbringing, has been to analyse, plan, and prepare before situations. So-called 'failures' or outcomes which turned out differently from expectations would lead towards a review of what could have gone wrong, what needed to be done instead, and so forth.

But perhaps, there really aren't so many things one can plan for or control. Or rather, there are so few things which I have control over.

While I think about this, there are also seemingly so many options and permutations of how things can turn out. How is one to make decisions which are good and fruitful?

Maybe one of the core things will be to check our hearts - what am I motivated by when I make such a decision? (Proverbs 4:23 Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.)

And also to ask what does the King of my heart say to me?

As I pause, I feel You gently ask me, what am I seeing? Not with my physical eyes, but with the eyes of faith about Your providence.

You have provided a helper we can work with. 

You have blessed us with a child who seems quite adaptable and seems to have taken sufficiently well to infantcare. (When I peeped at him, he was lying down on the playmat by himself. But after a while he began moving his arms to try and hit the toys hanging over him.)

You have provided us a relationship with You where we can surrender and entrust all our cares to You because You care for us (1 Peter 5:7 Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.)

You have brought us to a time where conversations with my family are now more transparent, rather than shame-based. You have built this over the years.

Though I resisted and struggled with the idea of placing baby in infantcare because it seemed as though I was not being very responsible, these few hours are giving me time to connect with myself, with You, and with my husband. If baby was at home with me today after hubby had fractured his toe yesterday and was facing work challenges, I would not be able to focus on a conversation with hubby.

Lord, I have to believe and trust that You hold all things together (Colossians 1:17 And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together.) Help us to raise our eyes to You above the rubble, above the noise, and see You leading and guiding us.